3/27/18

**note: this was originally written March 27, hence the title. 

Hello. This has been brewing only for a day, so bear with me. I wanna write a journal or something, something that feels tossed off and like I didn’t try that hard writing it. But also has a lot of information and facts about random stuff that I like, but it all kind of comes together. And I want it to be about the Mets. So every post is essentially a “recap” of the previous night’s game, and there’s a theme or something that I’ve worked through beforehand, so it all gels together as a kind of personal journal/sports piece. Make sense?

This all sounds very 2006 or something and now I’m having second thoughts.

I have a real problem when I write sometimes in that I tend to write in someone else’s voice. Like I just watched the first episode of that Garry Shandling documentary and now I’m writing this and forcing Garry’s voice away from these words, and it’s pretty fucking difficult.

I am compelled to pepper the attitude of this passage with the kind of self-deprecation and self-awareness that Shandling was known for. It would probably make this more interesting to read, but ultimately would do me as a writer no favors, stunting my growth.

I need to try and alter my voice when I write, but still make it me. I go back and read the stuff I write and it seems so heavy handed. How do I keep it light?

Ok so I have a theory about the heavy-handed-ness in my writing, and I think it’s this: I think it has something to do with my tendency to see the world in very black-and-white terms, like it’s either one thing or it’s another thing. It’s something that I’ve been aware of for at least five years, probably more. I don’t really know how to alter my perception of the world other than just to be aware of it, which I guess is half the battle right? I’m aware of it, and maybe that will change it? Maybe it will improve my writing?

Opening day is two days away.